The Perfect Family
I'm sure many of you are following the Gravelle case in the news. The articles I have read thus far have not been complimentary, to say the least. In fact, every article that has been published begins out horrifically and ends with a single redeeming statement or two about the parents.
I gave Sharon a call today just to see how they are holding up. Sitting in the courtroom day after day listening as the truth is distorted and lies are told is really hard for them both; I could hear it in her voice.
While I would be an idiot to believe this was a perfect family; I personally don't know of any. I do believe the Gravelle's had their heart in the right place, when they took in these children. The state is certainly out to persecute them.
My heart really goes out to this family. The children have all been separated and some of them can't even understand why. These were children no one wanted and caseworkers from the state approached Mr. & Mrs. Gravelle about taking the children in, not the other way around, though you wouldn't know that from sitting in the courtroom.
Son Testifies Against Parents
I even received a nasty letter from their son, blasting me for being supportive of the Gravelle's. He claims the father admitted to abusing him, the father made no such claims to me and the accusations made against Mr. Gravelle by the boy and later his sister were both found to be false and without merit.
In fact, the daughter who testified at the pre-trial hearing will not be allowed to testify for the prosecution because it was learned that she intentionally falsified statements because she was mad at her father.
I have a grandson who sleeps in a "cage," it's painted nicely and enclosed securely because he can't be trusted not to get up in the middle of the night and get out and wander the streets. Special restraints are sometimes to help keep him from injuring himself when he gets upset.
He eats things that mess up his bowels and has severe sensory issues. I get regular updates from his adoptive parents and they have simply had a terrible time keeping up with his medical needs. If the state can prosecute the Gravelle's, they could certainly prosecute my grandson's parents for doing some of the very same things the Gravelle's are being accused of.
People who have never cared for autistic children and children with other debilitating diseases, have no idea the heartache and pain a parent goes through in providing for their care. Not to mention all the money that goes into their care and treatment. It's no picnic.
State Seeks Caregivers
As far as I'm concerned, the only thing their guilty of is having too big of hearts. The state asked them to take in these special children the state was unable to place elsewhere; No one wanted these children, the state made huge money on these kids when they adopted them out.
The dirty little secret here is that the state can turn around and sell these same children again to the next poor soul who simply loves children and can't say no to them, if they can convince a jury that these parents were unfit. In otherwords, the state has a vested interest in the outcome of this case and their motives are not simply altruistic.
We are talking about children who were so abused that they ran out into the street to see their father when he drove by their foster home. That is a matter of public record. Now the state has had these children in custody since March and have coached these children to testify in court about the “abuse” they have suffered. Even the judge was appalled by some of the statements they made in his chambers before they were allowed to testify in open court.
This trial is a farce and nothing good will come of it, even if the children are allowed to go back home, it will be years before the damage will be undone, if ever.
I would just like to add a public note to their son...
You should be ashamed of putting your family through this. None of us have perfect childhoods and maybe you feel your parents could have done a better job? Most adults feel that way at sometime in our lives. You don't air your dirty laundry in public just for the attention. Please seek help.
This whole case just makes me sick.
Labels: cages, CPS, false accusation, fraud, Gravelle








2 Comments:
I don't think folks have a very accurate understanding of special needs children, let alone those with such extreme needs.
I am certified in non-violent intervention for the handicapped and I don't think folks have a clue. They have had a bigger fit about this one family when the reality is there is real abuse that public schools impose on special needs children legally. Not even looking at the mental abuse of forced testing on special needs children via NCLB, how about the number of children that are forced to comply via being wrestled and held to the point of suffocation.
Group homes and homes like the Gravelles are required to not use such methods, but there are no laws preventing schools from using them.
My younger sister is mentally retarded, so I've had a great deal of experience as well with the special needs community. Dave built a second story onto my folks home and turned it into a duplex so we could help my folks as they age and someday be my sister's guardian.
So, when this all occurred, the thought of enclosed beds was not strange at all to me. We have never needed one for my sister, but what would be better? Allowing them to roam through the streets at night? Tying them up? Are people so self absorbed that they are clueless as to what life is like with a handicapped child?
My folks had a horrid time when my sister was in her teens. She was being abused at school by a teacher.
My sister was barely verbal then, and she stopped eating. She didn't want to go to school, but most of the time my Mom pushed it after meetings with the principal.
Finally she requested a meeting with the teacher. The teacher was very unhappy with Margie because she didn't listen to directions. My Mom asked if she had read Margie's IEP that stated she was deaf in the left ear and needed to be seated accordingly.
The teacher said it didn't matter, so we found out the problem was the stupid teacher. (I don't use that word often, but it brought Margie a great deal of relief when we told her the teacher was stupid!)
It has taken Margie years to trust again and to tell us other things the teacher did. She has Cornelia DeLange Syndrome and understands a great deal, but has a hard time expressing herself. Every time I think of MI, I'll think of your grandson and say a prayer for him.
~Mary
I agree with you and my heart goes out to the families and the kids. So many people will stand back and are quick to judge.
My son has severe dyslexia and I knew it from the time he was in the first grade. It took his teachers two more years to figure it out. Meanwhile, it was horrible for him when he was forced to read in front of the class, and feel stupid because he couldn't keep up with he other kids. He brought home a two digit math paper marked with an F, though every answer was correct just backwards.
Teachers can inspire kids if they try, and can devastate the ones that can't. Some would give up. I sent my kid to school for dyslexic kids. And it was the best thing for him. He's going to college next year. I think that extra challenges help kids grow and give them more strength.
As with sister, she will grow stronger. Take Care!
I get my dauther tommrrow. She has spent the last couple of days at her fathers because they decided to skip school. Since he can pick her up and throw her his shoouder and I can't he has to take her tommorrow. After school she'll be staying with me!!
They said she had a social phobia and that had been the probem with skipping school. I wish you luck!
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